Fond

Seohyun by YoMiatotToday, mom showed me the new website they’ve been working on for the past month. I haven’t really been that interested when they said they wanted me to help, but I see now how much help they need. First of all, the website looked terrible. It’s like an ad that I’d immediately want to close. Fonts were bad. Layouts were plain and boring. Titles were dull. And there were grammar defects here and there. Being an OC in making pleasing websites, it was pretty easy to point out what their business page was lacking. Mom wanted me help and I’d be fired up to do so because it just bothers me that it looked too much like an ad.

But anyway, other than the fact that I was pointing out their mistakes and not doing my actual school work, today was a great day.

The first thing great about it is that the morning I woke up, I had a message from Alicia asking me if I was going to come to the band. And she said “pls come :)” mind u she sent this text at 6am. Since there is gonna be a church out picnic thing, Wildfire was cancelled so our initial plan to lead the band was cancelled as well. But Jordan wanted us band members to just jam for this Wednesday. Now, I was never close to Alicia at any point before we started practicing for Open Mic. I only met her once before it, and that was when I found that she was the girl that was joining the spam in the wildfire chat group. It was even just this week that we actually messaged each other on whatsapp, especially cuz Christelle told us to lead band and plan stuff together. But anyway, that text she sent at 6am just made me feel so loved for some reason. “Are you coming for practice today? Pls come :)”  It seems she’s gotten quite fond of me. And for a person who likes emojis, she used a type text emoji, something that seems out of the blue for her. Or maybe I’m just thinking way too much into this. My main point is, her text made me look forward to jamming with her. It brightened my day and I only just woke up.

Around the afternoon, I got a text from Gabe and I was so happy to chat with him again. He has not had wifi for a few days so my nights were pretty silent. But seriously, I never thought I’d feel like my day wasn’t complete without his rush of thoughts. I got so used to talking to him everyday that when he was suddenly gone for a few days, I felt like I had to talk to someone, anyone (hence me actually joining Wildfire chat spam and also chatting up Alicia). But really, no one can beat him with his stream of ideas.

As soon as we started talking, he told me about this story idea that he had, like a fanfiction about him. It’s about a successful single business man who decides to adopt a girl. When the girl is at her teens, they argue about something big that the girl leaves the house and the dad goes looking for her, but he gets into an accident. It’s somewhere along the lines of that story and I was helping him shape it into a better and more detailed story. He said he doesn’t want to write it though and said that I can write it and make it my story if I want. Since I really like the idea and the plot, I will try to take some time to think and write about that. It’s funny though because since the guy was based off in him, I wondered what it’d be like if I put in myself, Christelle, Edwin, and others on the story. I even thought of Christelle as being a dead wife or gf of his from his past to make it all the more tragic xD.

But anyway, while we were discussing his views on what the guy’s reasons for adopting were, we kind of ended up on the topic of marriage. He’s always saying that he will stay single forever. And yeah I guess that is good if he really dedicates himself to God, but I doubt that he would not find someone to marry because he has such a history of falling in love lol. So i was just trying not to let him have bad views on marriage and was helping shape him into a man of God even though he still has such a long way since he’s so naive. I even sent him this manhood sermon my mom sent me a week ago. Idk if he listened to it but anyway, God will deal with him and his views relationships XD.

Since we were just jamming today, I brought my acoustic guitar. I didn’t feel like playing bass (for once in my life lol) and just wanted to jam and sing songs with everyone else. When I entered the room, Alicia and Christelle greeted me. It felt unreal that I got not one, but two girls, warmly excited to see me. I have two girl best friends now. This must be a dream, right? It was already unbelievable to me that God somehow keeps Christelle and I so close together. Now I have another friend I’m starting to care seriously about who admires me back? If I told myself 3years ago, or heck, just last year, that I was gonna have friends who I will love that will actually love me back the same way, I wouldn’t even believe myself. God is good.

Hahah, anyway, when were just taking out our instruments, Christelle decided to borrow Alicia’s guitar. She was so cute being so excited to play the guitar. I taught her how to play How He Loves cuz it only had 4 chords and she already got it down really well. Her strumming, although kinda uncoordinated, is very powerful already and if she practiced more, she’d be the next Ethan of this band xD.

Anyway we sang songs so loosely and I just loved it. I was so happy every moment of it. We even sang Vapor but with a full band and mashed it up with With Everything like the time Christelle and I lead before. And even though I got a lil off singing on some parts, I didn’t care. I was just so happy and I felt so free. Ive felt so lethargic all week at home that I suddenly had such a rush by being around people. And maybe it’s because we had a perfect set of members that I was so carefree. Sebastian, Alben, Gabe, John A, the Alicia, and Christelle were like my ideal peole for the band this year. It’s kinda disappointing that there wouldn’t be Wildfire this week but oh well, having fun with them was great. And we were all so close and made jokes with each other. We were really like a family. It was awesome to be around them and I am so thankful that they are in my life. And I am so overwhelmed that we are able to gather and play music well for God and sing our hearts out. It was an exhilarating jamming session (at least for me).

When Christelle and I were finally going home with Gabe via taxi, she asked how I come to church on Wednesdays. I said that I ride taxi. She then said that we should ride together every Wednesday. Apparently her mom suggested that so I wouldn’t have to spend 22dhs every Wednesday. And Christelle loves the idea as much as I do cuz we get to go together. Gosh, I swear, her mom is so thoughtful. And it’s like she never misses an opportunity to get me and Christelle to be together. She’s like the mvp or president of our ship. She makes things happen for us XD. I somehow feel the pressure of being a better friend to her now since her mom always seems to be watching over us.

Anyway, after that, she asked me if I know how much taxi rides we’ve ridden together. I never really counted because it happened so often so i said i didn’t know. Still, it blew her mind how we’ve come such a long way mostly with taxi rides. She then asked me how it started and I said that I remembered that she asked to ride with me and my dad and that was the first night we ever even had a conversation with just the two of us. She remembered that as well and even remembered that I was playing an Ed Sheeran album on the car. I didn’t even recall that but yes, that was the time my dad bought an Ed Sheeran CD. So it seems she remembers it as clear–if not–clearer, than I do. And after that, since Gabe was there listening to everything, we told him that I knew her ever since she was 7 but never really got around to know her till she joined the band. We laughed about how we never really knew each other because of the age gap we had when we were young. We even included Jess, Prasanna, and Keziah in the mix and how I saw most of them as babies. Oh Awana days… It was so fun to know that Christelle and I were at each other’s midst for so long not really knowing each other but now we’re basically best friends.

But then again she says, “but soon you’re gonna leave me”

I think I said something a long the lines of “No, dont say that, c’mon” with a slightly annoyed tone even though in my heart I said it in such a painful plea. In my head I was just like screaming/singing 그런 말은 하지 마 제발… 그 말이 더 아픈 거 알잖아 ㅠㅠㅠ

Image result for iu producer sad gifAnd so she laughs and I laugh trying to brush it all off. Then Christelle says to Gabe that this is how it is–how we never speak of that goodbye until it is the right time. My emo brain just looked at her and thought, “Well then why do you keep bringing it up,” and shaking my head. I guess she cant help it. I cant stop thinking about it too so I cant blame her. But anyway, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that bit of silence after that conversation ends. That small second of utter torture knowing our time together was so limited wont ever stop and it will only get worse as time passes. But I think that has made us acquire a skill of quickly changing topics now. Even I find the most random things to say and make it interesting just so that those silent moments of torture wouldn’t engulf us.

But even with that, we had this conversation where I was saying how I try to spend as much time with friends on Fridays. I said that it’s because friends are like my medicine and I have to take that for my kinda antisocial lifestyle. After I said that, she was relieved that I said that because she thought I was gonna say it is because my time is limited here. Yes that is partly true, but I didn’t bring it up because we just talked about not bringing it up like a few minutes ago. She seems to have a hard time getting it out of her head or at least keeping it in every time it’s just us in the taxi. It kinda makes me dread the day of parting even more…

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