With Stella

That Wednesday after the Leader Conference, Christelle and I lead the band as we planned. Not many members came that week which was easier for me to handle so everything was pretty chill. Since it’s been about four weeks since that day, I don’t remember much of everything but I do remember one thing. It was the conversation Christelle and I had on the way home. For some reason I don’t remember, she started talking about the moment Ethan left for college. She said their family tried not to cry but eventually they did when they said goodbyes. Since she talked about that, she couldn’t seem to help but relate it to the future of our friendship. She went on again about what she was going to do when I leave. Every time we have this conversation, there’s a layer of feelings we try so hard to suppress. The thought saddens us both, that’s for sure. But man, it cuts me every time she brings it up. After we talk about it, a deafening silence usually follows. It’s like both of us need some air every time it’s mentioned.

I do remember after a silence saying, “Man… I don’t ever want to say goodbye to you.”

I don’t remember anymore how she exactly reacted to that, but from what I remember faintly, she may have said, “OH. Nope. NOPE.” Or maybe a bunch of wailing while she says “We’ll deal with it when the time comes.”

I actually don’t even know how we’ll be able to deal with it when the time comes. I’m a person who likes to grieve a few months before things actually happen. Her bringing it up and then putting it off kinda drives me crazy. I feel like I would be so depressed if I don’t deal with it now… but then again, I don’t even know how to deal with that sadness right now. The best that I can do really is spend time with her as much as I can. By the time this year ends, I already know that I’m going to be closer to her than ever, but Life will separate us. Oh… the thought is really frightening but still, life goes on.

Anywaayy… that Friday, my mic was oddly loud. I kinda hated that it was since it amplified how imperfect my voice was, but anyway… I had fun singing with Christelle and mashing up Vapor and With Everything. That’s what mattered right?

On the way home, her mom drove us home. As she was driving, she was talking about the very frustrating case of a parent just handing Jordan money for food right on the time of Wildfire. Since parents take part in preparing what lunch we hungry teenagers should have, it’s only common sense that they buy number of easy to eat food for us—not just give money to Jordan and assume he has enough time and headspace to buy food for 30+ people 30 minutes before Wildfire actually starts. It was so stupid on the parents’ side and it was hectic for the church staff to try and find what they can do. Hopefully, they were able to get enough food from a short amount of time, but seriously, that was just so dumb.

Anyway, as we were just talking about food, Christelle’s mom asks me if I want to go home with them and eat some biryani. Being the somewhat Christelle trash I am, I agreed to come with them. I’d do anything to hang out with her—just the two of us. Because of this, I got to Christelle’s room for the second time in less than a week. She prepared me some biryani and ate it even though it was a little spicy and I didn’t even like biryani that much. Then we jammed to some songs. I couldn’t record it because my iPod has been faulty for a while. It’s a shame but anyway, I can just write down what I remember. She made me listen to a lot of Young the Giant songs and covers of a married couple on youtube. Since she was sharing her music, I was able to share some too. I let her listen to 11:11 because I used to always play that on guitar last year. I also showed JRA’s duet cover of Like I’m Gonna Lose you and she said that we should jam to that some time. I also let her listen to the recordings of her and Vida singing together. She hated how she sounded but she was satisfied to hear them whenever Vida harmonized with her. Oh, and we took a video of our Vapor-With Everything mashup. Then an hour before 5, she said she wanted to post our Sorry We Don’t Talk mashup on instagram. I told her that she couldn’t record a whole video for her story since it was only 10 seconds. When she realized that, she then made up her mind that we should sing it under 10 seconds. So for about 45 minutes, we tried taking a 10 second video and made so much mistakes. It was the funniest thing ever to do it and fail most of the time. I think my favorite video isn’t even the one that we nailed perfectly—it’s us laughing too hard after I made a mistake. It was such a fun time.

Since it was turning late, my mom texted me to go home, so I got ready to go home. I was planning on walking but Christelle’s mom wanted to offer me a ride. Since she was so persistent, I couldn’t comply. Then she told me to wait 10 minutes for her to get ready. Feeling like that’s too much of a hassle, I called my mom to see if they could pick me up instead. After all, it was my dad’s birthday that day and we were supposed to eat dinner on Friday’s. When my mom said yes, I told Christelle to tell her mom not to worry about it. So I was able to wait for a few more minutes.

As I was waiting, Christelle said she wanted to paint on the drawing that I drew of her a few weeks back. I told her to go ahead and do what she wants cuz it’s hers. And so, she went to her desk to paint on it. While I was on her bed charging my phone, I played some English covers of Sam Kim and ohhhhhhh man. If only I had my iPod working. Hearing her just humming and harmonizing WITH Sam Kim was sooo good.

Anyway, after that, I went to eat with my parents on Friday’s. Since steak is my dad’s favorite dish, we ordered it and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it was soo gooood.

Just now as I’m writing this, I kinda feel like a horrible daughter. When I was about to leave Christelle’s house, I told her it was my dad’s birthday and she said I should’ve spent time with him. I said it was okay, but I’m just realizing now how bad it kinda sounds. It was my Dad’s 50th birthday, too.

But honestly, what would we have done during the day? Sleep? Watch TV at home? That’s what we always used to do after church… Anyway, I do try not to neglect my parents every day or act like they’re the most annoying people. They’re not. I try to be their energy whenever I can.



The next Wednesday, a new member joined the band. It’s Alicia. Chinaza has mentioned her before as someone who plays guitar and I do see her in Wildfire most of the time. She’s very chick and apparently she’s related to Youtuber Liza Koshy. Christelle said she has harmonized with her before and it wasn’t bad. With all the information I knew about her, I was looking forward to see how she will do. I had a good feeling that she has a potential to be good or at least doable and not poisonous.

I was right. She harmonized quite well with Sebastian and I could already hear her more than Chinaza (I still don’t know how Chinaza sounds like tbh). She’s not the best at it yet but she has that vibe to her to be good at it. Since she’s still young, there’s still a lot of time to improve. She’s not the best with guitar either—her strumming needs a lot of work—but nevertheless, what I like about her is that she wants to practice before the practice. She honestly wanted to go last week but since she said she didn’t have enough time to practice the songs, she didn’t go, and also because she had somewhere to go but anyway. But anyway, we usually just have a window of Tuesday to practice the songs when the songs are decided on late, and most of the members don’t even practice. So for her to want to practice the songs says a lot about her. I like it. It gives me hope. And even though she may not be as good as me, I think I may have found a replacement to be Christelle’s band/music friend.

Oh and by the way, since I never hear Chinaza’s voice and feel like she’s just standing there doing nothing most of the time, I lent her one of my shakers. It seems I have found something enjoyable for her to do cuz she was unstoppable with it. She’s even on beat using them. It was amusing.

The next day, Thursday, right after I finished my last Math test FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I crashed on my bed and wanted to rest and sleep. I worked hard for that last pace (and probably got the highest score I ever could after a long time of getting line of 80 lol. I only made one dumb mistake so I’m proud of myself to get a 97). But just a few minutes after I was lying there, I got a message from John Surya.

Since that guy is so predictable, even before opening his message, I knew he would be asking me for a favor. And I was right. He was asking me to play for St. Andrew’s Youth Service and that I should come to practice later that evening. I asked him if this was for next week and he said no, it was for tomorrow. Again, he’s doing things so last minute. Oh, John… What’s even worse was that he asked me to play the acoustic and not bass. That means I have to seriously learn the songs since in a way, I’d be leading instead of just being at the back doing whatever the heck I wanted with the bass.

So I debated whether I should go since practice was at 9 to 10 which is kinda late to me. I didn’t want to go to Refuge at all unless Christelle was gonna go with me… And what do you know… Just a few minutes after John messaged me, Christelle messaged me asking me if I was going. Apparently John has asked her to sing, too, and now she was asking me if I was going to go because if I go, she goes. So knowing her to be filled with so much school work all the time, I asked if she was tired or not and if she wanted to go to Refuge. She said she wasn’t and she will go with what I decide. Since I’m given the choice, I said that we might as well go since I want to see her. She then tells me I’m sweet for saying that lol.

After taking a bath and all, I played the songs that John sent and oH my gosh, there was one song, hymn, or whatever it was that just sounded SO AWFUL I couldn’t play the whole thing. The song is “We Plough the Fields, And Scatter.” I bet you, I tried to find a decent version of this everywhere in youtube but they were all just so BAD. I had zero patience to learn it at all.

My speakers were even on full blast that moment I played it for the first time and I was embarrassed that my mom could possibly hear that awful song from my room. I decided then that I do not want to play that song and John Surya cannot force me at all to do it. Anyway, as I was studying the songs hurriedly, Christelle texted me and said that she was gonna go to my place. I misread it all as me getting a ride with her and her parents, but actually, she was saying that she was going to be dropped off at my place. So then when she arrived at around 7:00, I came down a building. But since it was way too early, we had to wait ‘til 7:30 and I had to take her in my room. Because of that, I kinda panicked a little since I never told this to my parents. But anyway, I notified my dad just in case they might be dressing up or something. And good thing I cleaned my room a few days before or else my room would’ve been a mess.

So there we practiced on one song and we both talked about the awful song on the set list. She too couldn’t take it the first time she heard it and she cringed just as much as I did. She did not want to sing the song at all so we were trying to make plans on how to go about avoiding that song later.

As we waited, I asked her if she knew any kpop songs. She said her friends tell her about boygroups and mainly BTS and the only song she has liked was Blood, Sweat, and Tears. She said her friends show her pictures of them too and said they’re pretty handsome. Me being the somewhat hipster and girlgroup stan, I told her that there are very good girl groups, too. I told her that I look more on music quality than I did on appearance, and she said she figured. Trying to think of something aesthetically pleasing and somewhat westernized, f(x) clicked to me and I showed her the 4 Walls MV. I honestly debated which MV would be best to show her. I did think of showing her TaeYeon’s I or Fine but since she liked Blood, Sweat, and Tears, I wanted to show her something strong with girl groups as well. What else would be the best thing but Girls’ Generation The Boys?

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SUCH ELEGANCE. LOOK AT THEM DANCE. THIS IS SONG IS AS POWERFUL AS YOUR FEMINIST PERSONA. THEY ARE THE BEST. AND LOOK AT THAT SQUARE EMBOSED THING ON MY TABLE. THAT’S THE ALBUM. After that, I showed her the Mr.Mr. dance practice. Aside from the dance being so cool, I wanted to let her hear those amazing vocals. To me I think Mr.Mr. has one of the greatest music structures for SNSD. I mean they change keys two times so smoothly. Who else has done that in girlgroup history? After that, I showed her one last MV before we took off, which was Lion Heart. I told her that’s the MV that relates to the big ass poster I had on my wall. I proceeded to tell her about the crazy good quality of the albums. I showed her the Lion Heart album and a little bit of the My Voice Sky version. She said they were so pretty and their skins are so fair lol.

On the way to Refuge, she told me about things that happened in project serve and how the adopted girls they served in Chennai were going to church tomorrow. She said that most of the girls were looking for Christelle and she was so touched that they would remember her out of all the people who volunteered. So she didn’t want to ever miss seeing them tomorrow. I hate to bring her hopes down but I told her that we’re about to go to Refuge and practice later so that we can play at St. Andrews, basically missing the ECC’s second service. And oh man, the look on her face… When she realized what she has gotten into, she freaked out. She didn’t ever want to miss seeing the kids who remembered her out of everyone. Even though she was going to meet them on Saturday, she still wanted to see them on Friday. So I wondered about how I should comfort her and told her that maybe after the set is done tomorrow she could leave early and meet them and maybe even avoid that gosh awful song. It’s hilarious that she took it as an approval rather than a suggestion.

It’s really funny how she claims how awkward she feels being in Refuge. She always talks about how she doesn’t like meeting new people as if she’s the most anti-social person. Even though she’s good at socializing, her melancholic side must hold her back in a lot of situations.

At refuge, we played a touch game, ninja, and then Jill taught us about the importance of meditation. It’s still very loosely taught as always and she just made us draw and write stuff that makes us describe or think about God. The teachings in refuge are just never enough for me so when Jill made us do these things, I took it way too seriously to actually learn something decent. I think I’m the only one who took serious effort to draw something that described that one verse and write a whole A4 list of what God is. Honestly Refuge doesn’t even come close to spiritual milk. It’s more like candy, or like a quick sugar fix. There’s nothing wrong about that, but it just doesn’t give me enough nutrition.

When the “lesson” was finished, before practicing, Christelle asked for my hand and painted a heart on it. My heart was honestly fluttering a little bit when she was painting on my hand. Nobody has ever done this to me before. She was even using purple, her favorite color. It was like she was painting her mark on me. It excited me and gave me energy to play my best for the practice.

During practice, Beth, a singer I met for last year’s St. Andrew’s youth service, said that she was 17 and I was really shocked. Since she had a somewhat Alice vibe to her appearance despite being British, I’ve always thought she was older than me. Now that I’m 18, it seems like I’m above everyone else. It feels so weird. Being 17 was the perfect age because many people were younger than me but I still had someone older than me many people younger than me. Now I look at 14 year olds like teenage-wannabes because of their trying-to-fit-in personalities. I suddenly have a clear view of how 12 to 17 year olds act like. It’s satisfying in some way to know I’m over most of the problems they go through, but at the same time, it feels weird. I have a new set of problems coming my way, but it’s less annoying than when I was a dimwitted teen.

Anyway… practice went well and Christelle and I were able to avoid being part of that awful song. At 10 we went home.

The next day, Friday morning, I arrive at St. Andrews about 5 minutes late. Everything was already set up when I got there and I just had to pick up the guitar. Since I’ve played the St. Andrews hall before, I didn’t feel nervous. I was actually pretty confident especially since Jonathan was there to play drums, John Adi was good with the keyboards, and John Surya was fairly good with the bass. There were a number of singers too so it was a pretty solid band unlike last years when it was so rough since Jorge (Sebastian’s brother) played an instrument that was not his expertise. Christelle arrived about 5 minutes after I did and she said she was nervous. She has never been to the St. Andrews mass before so she was conscious about everything as always. Either way, the band was great and we played well. After the mass, Beth got baptized. It was interesting to see her get baptized. Although I do not believe in some of their church’s methods, it still touched my heart that she was able to come to God and be baptized.

When it all ended, Christelle and I walked back to our beloved church ECC. When we reached halfway the British school building, a guy approached us asking for help (money) and showed us a gross ass wound under his sleeve claiming it was cancer. Since I had weak spots for “poor” people like those, I was almost inclined to help but as my parents say, it’s not wise to just give away money to people like that. I didn’t know what to do, but good thing Christelle was there. She said sorry we can’t help very confidently. When we had some distance from the man, I said I never know what to do when that happens and suddenly she says it is fake. I was blank for a moment because I never really thought of it that way, so then she said “When have you ever seen a gross open wound with cancer? Cancer happens internally.” That’s when it hit me. How stupid I’ve been, huh. Of course. And besides, it’s illegal to beg and they just come here to take advantage of Christians. Then she said the story of how Jonathan once came up to a guy doing the same thing and straight up tore that fake wound off and somewhat fought the guy. Jonathan has some serious guts to do that, man. I can never do that.

After wildfire, on the ride home, Christelle says she feels weird about Gabe recently. Since I have told her before that Gabe likes her, I guess she was noticing more than she should. Edwin should have never opened his mouth but oh well, I guess I have to deal with this. She says that Gabriel makes her feel really uncomfortable. She proceeds to tell me about the names Gabriel call her, such as “luv” or that time after wildfire on the church courtyard when he was staring at her for a while for no particular reason. I was there when he was staring at her absentmindedly and I was even trying to send him signals behind Christelle’s back to cut it off.  She told me that wasn’t the only time though because he was pretty much doing it the whole day. I didn’t think she would notice him staring at her but I guess she did. Since I didn’t want her and Gabe’s friendship to turn weird because of these dumb crushes, I told her that I will definitely talk to him about it.

I think this one-sided love story is much more serious than just the Edwin confession months ago. Why? Because Gabe trusts me too much with keeping his feelings a secret from her, and Christelle trusts me too much to assume that I would tell her anything that goes on. It’s somewhat stressful that I have to be careful of my words and both their feelings at the same time, but it’s oddly fun. I mean Gabe and I have been chatting often at night, and ever since he told me he had feelings for Christelle, we bring her up a lot. We didn’t really talk about it too much before but ever since Edwin came back to visit with his running mouth, it’s like we seem to find a way to start a conversation with her in mind. He comes to me for advice and I give it to him. He asks me about relationships and I answer him with all that I know. I tell him lots of things about Christelle because at least I have someone to talk to that understand my love for her. So in a way, I’m pretty much making him more in love with her, which puts me at fault since Christelle feels uncomfortable about it. I honestly didn’t think he was being obvious before—probably because his sanguine personality just makes him seem like the friendliest guy ever—but I guess he was kind of crossing a thin line that day. If Christelle didn’t know anything, she probably wouldn’t take notice, but she does know so now I have to put some kind of leash on him without actually saying that she knows everything. Oh… my life as a mediator is hard. Much respect to Jesus, the wisest and most patient mediator who ever lived.

Anyway, I’ll talk more about this matter later.

Christelle and I went to her home again and started planning what we could sing for the Open Mic night. Choleric christelle wanted to list out every possible song we could do, and we tried singing most of them. Even though we were jamming to a lot of familiar songs and also suggesting things here and there, we couldn’t come up with anything certain. Nothing really clicked with us. It went on for hours until at the last minute, I suggested, “What about Vapor?” We tried it out and it was good. It was solid since we already practiced on it. I could sing on it too. So we recorded it and it was exactly 4:58 seconds. Performances should be under 5 minutes so it was crazy that it ended with 2 seconds left to 5 minutes. We went hysterical finally finding the song we really wanted to do after hours of planning and I finally decided to go home at 5:30.

I walked home and the weather seemed cooler. The wind felt great. It took me about 20 minutes to get to my home so I got some a good exercise from that especially with the bass on my back lol.

As soon as I get home, Alicia messages me telling me she wants to join Christelle and I for the Open Mic. So I decided to create a group and we discussed it there. I was happy that Alicia would be joining us. I felt like it would be awkward to have just Christelle’s powerful voice dominating the whole Domes, so with her harmonizing maybe it would give Vapor a fuller sound to it.


A few days later, Jessica said that she finally has time for the band and is going to lead that week. I really loved the setlist that she picked and was excited to play guitar for it. I did not want to miss it. A lot of people said they were gonna come, including Christelle. So I definitely had to go. However, as I was preparing myself to co-lead the set with her, I received a message from Jonathan desperately wanting me to play for the girls that came from Chennai. Apparently they were planning on singing on FCC service along with JC, the Filipino guy that was a guest on our first band meeting this year. Since I had absolutely no idea what to expect from playing with children and especially at FCC, I was kind of reluctant to say yes, but I did anyway. I figured, hey, it shouldn’t even be a surprise anymore that new things happen every single week. God is putting this in my way so I might as well face it head on. Besides, a day before Wildfire’s band practice on Wednesday, a lot of members started backing out, including Christelle. I knew when I read that  Christelle backed out of the band that God was telling me to go for the FCC performance instead.

The only thing is my heart could not take it knowing Jessica would be leading band this week and the members are not good enough to be presentable without me probably saying something. And besides, Jessica hasn’t been in the band for a long while. As much as I do not like her singing, I’m still her friend and I want her to enjoy her set list with a prepared band. So, with the application of the Open Mic night to pass on to Alicia as an excuse, I went to band practice even though I wasn’t going to play on Wildfire that Friday. I helped them play the songs and coached Gabe and Alben (guitarist, brother of Keziah) with their instruments. I was able to hear Alicia’s guitar skills more that week. Rather than having trouble keeping time, she has trouble doing some chords and her strumming has roughly no feelings, especially since she was already at the tip of the fretboard. I figured that I couldn’t really fix her today and I should just let her do what she can for now. Hah, yes, I didn’t get angry for once. I guess I’ve matured a lot. Because one thing that has been really sticking with me about this leadership thing was that you can teach everyone, but you can’t make an expert out of everybody. So that’s exactly what I did. I paid a lot of attention to Alben. Alben is a pretty decent guitarist. I still feel like he has a lot to improve, but he is already competing in competitions and is way ahead of Caesius, Prasanna, and Gabe with it. I taught him ways on how to make his strumming stronger or softer, and I taught him how to strum his parts. As for Gabe, since he’s so enthusiastic about the cahon, I tell him how to do some of his parts, too. With my help, I was able to get the four of them to be confident for Friday, but I feel like Jessica did fairly well in being a leader this time as well. She had ideas that I didn’t even think of. I don’t even think she was as a bad as she was in singing before (or maybe I just wasn’t focusing on her voice), but anyway, I’m glad I came around to help them. It was the first time in the band that I just came for the sake of helping them out and not to try and carry the whole weight of everyone on my shoulders. It made me hopeful that somehow the future band musicians (assuming either Alben, Alica, and maybe even Prasanna) would be able to lead the band too someday in some way.

The next day, I was still in a very down mood for Jonathan’s request. I think part of it was because I came at the exact right time and no one was in the Refuge room so I had to wait for about five minutes or so. But I just wasn’t used to meeting new people, let alone a bunch of adopted kids. I wondered how it would go, if it would get chaotic or not as I looked down on the kids skills before I even heard them (which was honestly wrong for me to do). Other than the fact that I constantly reminded myself that this was for God, I tried to lean on the fact that JC was a good musician and that Jonathan was my drum buddy. As long as the music was good, I wouldn’t mind. Anyway, so Jonathan came with his friend that would play guitar, along with one kid from the group of girls from Chennai and their vocal teacher. For about 30 minutes or an hour, we set up the stage and instruments and I basically taught Jonathan’s friend how to play the song we were going to play. It was the song Brave by Moriah Peters. Good thing I taught him how to play it because if I didn’t, he would’ve been on a whole lot of trouble later.

After an hour or something, JC and the rest of the group finally started coming in. Finally, we were gonna play and practice. We’ve been waiting for so long. But you know what immediately threw me off and brightened my whole world? As I saw those kids coming in, another person followed behind them. It was Christelle. I can still remember the sheer happiness I felt when the door opened and she came in. I did guess that maybe she was going to come because of the girls but I didn’t lean on it much. My heart just jumped seeing her when I didn’t even expect or plan it with her. I felt like God has rewarded me again for going to something that caused me to go out of my comfort zone. So for the rest of the night, I was in such a good mood that everything JC was doing didn’t really faze me.

Let’s talk about JC. The tone of his voice kinda sounds gay especially with that strong Filipino-English accent. Even his posture and body structure looks like the stereotypical gay guy, but like oh man, he is a musician that knows what he is doing. Right from the moment he came in, he was apologizing that they were late and because of that we had to get the song all done by one hour. He immediately asked us musicians if we already learned the songs since he can’t exactly teach every single thing to us. I’m glad I taught Jonathan’s friend the chords before he came ‘cause otherwise he would have been beaten up at the first minute. But anyway, JC has a strong sense of what he wants and he will stop at nothing until all of us get every detail right. He was also very strict with the girls. Because the song was about being strong and courageous, he would give them quick lectures on how to sound strong and not sing like lousy kids as they are. I respected his leadership a lot even though he sounded a bit strict. If I was as good with words and leadership as he was, I would’ve been as strict to the band back then as he was now. He was very overpowering, but he got to make us play the song in the coolest way so I loved it.

Christelle and the rest of the women looking after the kids didn’t seem to feel the same way, though. After the practice ended and everyone left, I was waiting with Christelle as she waited for her dad. She told me about how overpowering JC was being and that he didn’t have the right to treat the girls that way. She told me that the girls’ vocal teacher was there and was trying to intercede and explain for the girls, but JC completely blocks her opinion out. That’s why she was at the end of the room with earphones, being stubborn and trying not giving a crap anymore while we practiced. I agreed that JC was being a little strict, but I understood him in a musician’s point of view. JC analyzed the song perfectly and for him to desperately want to get the same feeling of the song from the girls was the greatest thing I’ve seen so far from a music leader. And besides, they were singing for his church FCC. I understand that Filipinos are absolutely good with music, a bunch of suckers for good entertainment, and are hella judgmental as well. He was carrying that weight of leading a bunch of Indian kids and a band he doesn’t even work with often. He was also probably carrying the weight of trying to make this less embarrassing for the Indian kids as much as possible with the eyes and ears of his people in mind. So in some way, he did have the right to lead them, and it was rightfully so that he was a little strict with them.

Anyway, I met Divinia again after so long. She is the first ever leader to sign on my Awana starting book. She recognized Christelle first and greeted her. Since I’ve been seeing her on Awana lately, I couldn’t resist myself and asked if she remembers me. When I asked that, her eyes widened and she did recognize me. I felt happy that she did. She probably signed about 80% of my book back then. I’d be really disappointed if she didn’t remember me at all.

Next day, Friday, the performance with the girls went smoothly. I played the FCC church’s bass and it sounded awesome. After we played, I was able to go up for Wildfire and discuss the topics there. There was this question about “What are some examples of laws that give you freedom?” We discussed this and I had a lot to say so the group I was on made me speak when it was time for sharing with the whole Wildfire group. I said, “Restricting laws such as don’t do adultery—they give us freedom from the problems it can cause.” I was applauded and Pastor Curt even elaborated on that a little bit. I really liked that discussion a lot. Pastor Curt gave us really good questions.

After wildfire, I was waiting for Christelle and Alicia to say their goodbyes to the girls from Chennai. I waited for them for like thirty minutes and there were times when Gabe and I were just together staring at Christelle, waiting for her to finish. We’ve been talking about her again lol. Seriously, I have to make this writing material somehow.

Anyway, Christelle, Alicia, and I went to Christelle’s house to practice Vapor once and for all. When we arrived at her house, she told us to wait at the living room while she fixes her room. Since Alicia and I didn’t really know each other that well, it was kind of awkward just standing there with her. I tried hard for it not to be awkward tho. I told her that I had a lot of expectations for her in the band because I could see that she is good and has the potential to be really, really good. I don’t remember if I said it that way, but anyway… We practiced and practiced Vapor and we tried to figure out who was going to sing who. And while we were taking a break eating snacks, I said that we should have a band name. We wanted something that best described us or bonded us together. It didn’t take us that long to agree on Christelle’s suggestion which is “Chocolate Covered Pretzelz” I thought it was ridiculous at first because it was so long and “covered” didn’t even sound that good with it, but it stuck with us anyway since we were eating it. While OCD Christelle was arranging the song order and roles on her notebook, I noticed that making our band name with pretzels was such a good idea because it had three holes in it. We went crazy with the name even more because of it.

Ccp by YoMiatot

(I designed this a few days later. We ate pretzels that looked like that so XD)

By 5:30, Alicia left and so it was me and Christelle again. Since I wanted to have some alone time with her, I stayed for about half an hour or more to jam with her. After we jammed, she goes on again about what kind of crisis she will go through without me playing music with her. She said that I’m the only one who knows and understand music in a way that she does and that I know what’s good with her more than anyone else. I think I told her that she should pray to God about it—to send her someone like me. But I also told her that she’s still gonna have to suffer a bit. lol is it weird that I want her to suffer from missing me and craving my presence? Oh well…

Before I left, I made her notice the sigh that she always does at the end of a conversation. So now she goes crazy when she does it because she does it so often that she can’t stop it. And now that I’ve made it known to her, I also start to notice that I’ve suddenly been doing it because of her, so before I do it, I add an “ohh man” instead of just sighing. I’m not even trying to copy her intentionally so I startle myself when that happens. It’s weird to suddenly be acquiring a trait that isn’t even from my family… but technically, she is my sister in Christ, right? XD



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