This isn’t how I expected to update about SNSD this year, but yeah, this 10th year that was supposed to be full of celebration has started an era of utter chaos. First of all, I was so hyped and excited about this comeback (obviously). I mean come on, everyone was. Finally, after two years, SNSD will be together again as one piece. It was the grand decade celebration—and the first GG to reach it, too. When I was in the Philippines, I usually slept around 10 PM, I’d stay up another hour just to see the SNSD teasers. I even watched their Vlives. I loved the songs on their album and listened to each of them well. I was overjoyed seeing them again in these outfits, too. Everything was too good to be true.
I’ve watched Running Man, Knowing Brothers, and Happy Together, too. They were all fun.
Then some minor problems rose with juniors kind of disrespecting them. Basically on their first show for their comeback, no one greeted them, congratulated them for the 10th anniversary, or gave an album to them but EXO. Hyoyeon posted a thank you post for that saying they were the only ones. She didn’t mention any groups not greeting them, but everyone flipped. Everyone suddenly got crazy ‘cause all the juniors that were there on the show was not very respectful to not greet them. No wonder many new Kpop fans are wild, disrespectful, and obnoxious. I don’t even remember any SONEs being salty and boasting about SNSD being greater than BoA or other older groups and artists, but groups and their fans nowadays apparently just have little to no respect for those who paved their way for them. There were even clips surfacing that even though SNSD during the boys era, during the peak of their careers being international stars, took the time to sign CDs and greet their seniors. But somehow popular groups these days can’t do that? If I was an idol at that place, I’d definitely urge my members to greet SNSD cuz duh, Into The New World is the official song on the gg starter pack and they literally made a Girls’ Generation. (And also, I’d die to see all 8 of them and talk to them lol) Anyway, after that incident, at the next show they went to, Weki Meki (whatever the heck that group is… I only know Yoojung and DoYeon are there) and G-Friend greeted them and SNSD were very welcoming of them. It’s funny, though because G-friend even brought a cake. I guess they realized their Korean mistake and decided to compensate with cake lol. I’m sure SNSD appreciates that a lot. Those women like to eat hahaha. And besides, do they really look intimidating? I guess so… but if you make the effort to warm up to them, they will, too. I mean just look at Red Velvet. Look at Yeri’s smug ass face. She know she’s winning jackpot. She knows she’s better than anyone at the Unnie snatcher game. She knows she’s the best Rookie rookie.
Anyway, the official chaos finally started when a news popped up that the promotion period was cut short. They performed for only three shows and it was finished in less than a week. The teaser period was longer than the promotion period, how awful. After that, everything just started going downhill. They were cut from MBC’s concert even though they hyped it on their twitter. That angered a lot of SONEs. By that time, fans were starting to speculate that there was some conspiracy to bring down SNSD, but MBC said it was SM that told them to cut SNSD out, which now directs the madness to SM.
Then crazy info started coming in: some insiders claimed SM were not making any more physical copies of the album (any of the two versions). Wait, actually before that, people posted photos of misspelled names on the album production like “SOOYUNG” and worse, “TIFFNY”, oh and also an additional that was on a promotional truck, “TAEYOEN.” To be honest, I had the urge in buying the album but tried not to get way too ahead of myself again. Good thing I controlled myself because the production seemed chaotic itself, but what about those that ordered but has not gotten their share yet? Will they ever get it? Did they really stop the album production? Was it because of those shitty names typos?
The next to happen were the articles about renewing contracts. I did not get to read the articles myself ‘cause they were in Korean so I trusted translators and they said the articles claimed “Some resigned but others were in discussion.” So again, fans start going crazy asking around, losing their temper at SM, and other uncontrollable feelings. It seems that the situation was getting worse that Mr. Oniontaker, the claimed “insider” of SM who everyone always argues with, started talking about what he knows. He wrote a long post about what he knew so far about was happening and basically, what I got from it was this:
Most SM artist discuss contracts and re-sign during January, but some SNSD members have not re-signed yet. SM and some SNSD members cannot come to an agreement about their individual contracts yet, which is why they are getting bullied like this. For 8 months, SM and SNSD have been fighting, and SM, being impatient, does media play and announces that they are discussing contracts. It’s a move to stir the fans to pressure the other members who have not re-signed yet to quickly come to the terms SM wants rather than what they want individually. So basically, they’re subtly trying to turn SONES against SNSD’s desires. We’re just mere pawns on this chess game, trying to make us move where they can checkmate SNSD. Since Mr. Onion’s post went out, many SONEs were encouraged to be the better person now that they have seen the politics going on in this shitty entertainment business. And after about one or two days, SM releases another anonymous article—Tiffany re-signed but others are in discussion, and something about her pursuing acting in America. Again, another media play, and this time, they used Tiffany for a change. It’s to stir the crowd again to pressure the other members who have not re-signed, but since the SONEs saw through it all, they stand strong. And they also announced her studies of acting so that SONEs would stop her continuing just to stay for SNSD (or from having an income that won’t be shared with SM: working in the American film industry.)
It’s crazy though finding out that Tiffany was learning acting in America all with her own money. I’ve been waiting for her to be an a drama ever since I saw her act in Horror Movie Factory. Although she was not the best, I could see she had strong potential to be great at it. (And honestly, I need emo Fany content for my fanfics ya know? It’s not easy to find her not smiling…) Although they have revealed that now, how is she not in any films yet? She even passed an audition and got the role, but obviously it did not happen. It was all SM again preventing her from doing these things. Everyone knows because it all sounds familiar now. Remember Jessica’s situation?
To be honest, I feel like SM is putting a knife near everyone’s throats while whispering in their ear, “SNSD or yourself? Choose.” I was just thinking maybe Jessica, who was last to re-sign, replied with, “Okay, SNSD, but what are you gonna do about my new fashion line? You can’t just throw that away, everyone knows I have that now.”
Then the SNSD members who are all tied up hostage but also asked the same question before all starts screaming to Jessica, “Chose SNSD. Please. We love you but please chose SNSD, like all of us. We have dreams, too, but we all sacrificed to be together.”
“I love you all, too, but I already started. I can’t just cancel all my plans for that! You guys are my dream, but can’t I have other dreams, too? I’m sure I can do both dreams at once.”
“But the thing is, your dream does not give us money,” Thus, knowing she would not cooperate, SM slit her in the throat without warning, or in the worse reality, kicked her out of her home (SNSD). And out of all that confusion and angst, Jessica made that post out of grief but SNSD kept quiet cuz they are SM’s hostages but among that chaos TY somehow takes the blame for some reason just cuz she says sorry all the damn time? Anyway ehem, before I get more confused and emo let’s move on….
Now, while all of that media shenanigans is happening, HyoTae comes to Indonesia for a concert. The first to come was Hyoyeon, and all was calm when she arrived at their airport. No one was really shoving around to get to see her or anything. Maybe because she was really pretty and intimidating at the same time even with the pink hair, people don’t want to get that close. But it’s probably because Hyoyeon has a good proportion of fans. Not too many. Not too few. Just right. That’s good. All was cool. I just wondered why she didn’t go with TaeYeon. It could’ve been better if they went together. HyoTae after all is the new leading ship of SNSD. Man, not in a million years would I have guessed they’d be a big thing but I ship them so much now XD. But anyway, TaeYeon follows a day later I think, which is today. And man…. MAN. Okay. Wait let me just breathe for a moment…
Okay, so, TaeYeon arrives at the airport and stands there at the front for her airport fashion to be taken as usual. Photos come in quickly in twitter and she is gorgeously hot and pretty and cute all at the same time trying to pose like a model. It gets even cuter when her bag’s strap snapped and she tries to laugh it off… but that’s when everything seems to snap, too. When she entered the airport, she was followed by an obnoxious crowd of fans getting all up in her face to take a picture of her. Even news outlets with big fat cameras were all up in her face to the point that it hit her head. She was keeping her cool for some time but when that happened, her face turned a little sour. I mean come on, who wouldn’t get annoyed by that. Photos and vids of that time started showing up on twitter and obviously, fans who are far from that situation are annoyed and angry that people were too close to the woman who has fear of crowds and cameras. They are also getting angry at SM again since TaeYeon only had one manager and no body guard. The manager that was there wasn’t even protecting her as much as ShoSho Unnie or Lion Heart manager usually does as if she was his child. Maybe that manager couldn’t protect her since he was just about the same size as her. Even if he was by her side, being the only manager would not be able to protect her from all those following. Still, tho… Manager Hwang could’ve done a better job cuz Tiffany actually has the guts to shove away cameras. TaeYeon really needs strong and aggressive people around to protect her cuz she is just way too gentle. Man, where was that hot handsome body guard that TY was checking out and everyone was freaking about a few months ago?
But even with guards, it seems it was useless. When she arrived at Indonesia, she was flooded with people from all directions. Just looking from a video clip, it looked suffocating to even be there. The giant soldiers escorting her couldn’t even push everyone just to give her space because it was just that bad. Everyone was shoving themselves just to see TaeYeon or touch her as if she was Jesus who can heal with her garments. And I just thought of another image right now… the fans were like zombies out to get that one girl with the fine skin. The buff guys are having a hard time to deal. The situation was just so crazy that TaeYeon literally had a breakdown. She fell while she was shaking and crying cuz her body could not take the the claustrophobic atmosphere from all the drowning skin contact—touching and grabbing (on her butt and chest and everywhere else, just as she said). Before she could even process anything at that moment, one of the soldiers just picked her up like some rice sack—like literally carrying her in a really bad way. I honestly couldn’t imagine this happening at first, but when a photo came out, it was scarring that I couldn’t even look for five seconds. It’s like Minho carrying mannequin Yoona but more aggressively and without notice. I know they were just trying to take her out because she might have been crushed by hundreds of bodies, but even so it was not okay. She was already overwhelmed with the harassment situation, and the body guard just made it more traumatizing for her already unstable state. You gotta do what you gotta do so what that guy did was still understandable and forgivable…
I had honestly kept my cool on the first situation on Incheon airport. Then Just a few hours after that, some site misinterpreted TaeYeon’s comment to Ariana Grande’s post on IG and SONEs basically went mad about that, but I kept my cool for that too because it’s just a dumb and irrelevant media play that will pass. I couldn’t care any less for that since TaeYeon was in a worse situation, but still, it was all happening in one day so it an was annoying addition. I had also kept my temper in control for the crowding in Indonesia, but I just lost it until I saw that photo of her being carried. Just imagining the reality of being on her shoes felt insane. It finally made me explode on twitter when I saw how badly the situation was. But just a few minutes after I had completely lost my temper, TaeYeon posts on IG about the situation.
How can she be so selfless? To me, it’s the craziest thing out of this situation. If I was in her place on Incheon airport, I would have probably told everyone to back off, but she just winced on that situation without saying a word and managed to keep waving with a smile in the end and looking out for everyone even though they were all on her face.
And then arriving at Indonesia, she was basically harassed by everyone there, intentionally or not. There was absolutely no respect for her space. Everyone was just being greedy. Everyone was being really selfish. And still, out of that situation, she somehow comes out to say that she’s sorry? For what, though? None of it was her fault. She was saying sorry for not showing her best appearance today, but that’s not her fault. She wasn’t able to show her best appearance because everyone else invaded her space. I don’t even know how they came so close because if I saw my crush or someone totally great I wouldn’t even come close! Even if the fans waited on the airport, what pain is that compared to being suffocated and harassed by your own fans? And yes, people may have been injured and pushed and all that, but what if she was injured, too? Would that be her fault, too? Will she still be sorry by then? How is she so selfless? Just how is she so caring for the crowd that went out of control to the extent that it was actually traumatizing her? How is she refusing to recognize everyone’s selfishness? I’m just so shocked by this. I’m just really speechless right now.
I used to always think that she was a rebel. I used to always think that we were so much alike in the way we think. I used to think she would scoff at people who are just not good. But I was wrong. There’s something I totally missed. There’s something I paid less attention to and I’m ashamed of that. She was that girl who cried when the staffs were sitting on the floor during lunch while SNSD ate with a table. She was that girl who cried because international fans said that they would stay up late just to stream SNSD. She was that girl who apologized for dating a boy because it hurt everyone else’s feelings. She was that girl who cried bitterly at a fansign and said sorry when asked about Jessica’s departure for the first time and got all the blame just by being SNSD’s leader. She was that girl that apologized to a fanart account for unfollowing her (during her massive unfollowing spree), and left a comment saying she still likes her art. She was that girl that replied to a mumbling anti on IG formally pleading not to say bad things on her photos as to not upset her happy fans, not her.
She is just way too selfless—too selfless that she won’t even make an effort to protect herself. She cares way too much about others but herself. She takes all the blows just so that no one else would. I guess I really was right about how I described her before about her being a leader at the back of the line. She sees everything in front of her and protects everyone from behind, but she’s getting all the hits at the back. Sometimes SONEs are there behind her to protect her, waging war in media, but sometimes that’s not what she wants. It’s clear now that she’s too pure to make wars—especially stirring one in her own fandom. She’d rather receive all blows than see war play out among her loved ones. She would also rather give SONE’s give the benefit of the doubt than accept that everyone was clearly at a large fault.
To me, knowing she’s like that is kind of painful. Although it’s great of her to be so forgiving, she’s brushing off the fact that she got badly scarred again and it’s not fine. It worries me. It worries us SONEs. Can’t she protect herself a bit? Can’t she think about herself for a bit? As Heechul also said before, it hurts me when she’s trying to be strong. It hurts me knowing she won’t fight for herself. It hurts me that she loves a fandom so damn much that she won’t ever allow herself to see their serious issues. She was basically sexually assaulted by everyone there for goodness sakes, but still, she does not believe any of it was intentional. Man, I just don’t fully understand how much tolerance she has, how much she can forgive those situations, or how she manages to worry about things she shouldn’t be worrying about. It’s astonishing to see she has this kind of attitude while being a top star in Korea. She’s too humble for her own good sometimes… I don’t know how she manages to stay the same for 10 years. All I know is when she posted up that message, a bubble popped in my head.
While I was ranting on twitter, I almost wrote something along the lines of “If TaeYeon forgave them, so shall I. You all should learn from her.” And before I hit send, something just hit me. I erased that last sentence at changed it to “A lot to learn from this character.” Why? Because the previous one made me think of one thing:
“If Jesus forgave them, so shall I. You all should learn from Him.” My mind had totally converted what I was about to speak out.
After my mind went blank at TaeYeon’s post, I was just so speechless that she was able to be so forgiving that I knew I had to learn a lot from her. But as I was about to write that down, I felt a little ashamed of myself. I felt embarrassed in the presence of God. Because seriously, it took TaeYeon and all of this chaos to make me want to have pure heart? Really? Not Jesus, whose story is with me all the time?
Anyway, this whole thing is a huge eye-opener for me.
I want to learn to be more forgiving and gentle. I want to learn to love those who do me wrong. I want to learn to trust people better. I want to be more respectful, too.
I guess God bringing SNSD to my life is really all his plan. There are many good things that can be learned from them and I thank God I was even allowed to look up to them as my role models. And I thank God for introducing them to me because I would not even be writing, I would not even be drawing, I would not even be playing bass well, I would not be a caring and overprotective friend, and I would not even want to be a girl if it wasn’t for them. I think I’d even be racist and judgmental of Kpop and any other music if they were not introduced to me. Liking Girls’ Generation made it all easy and possible for me to do the things I loved doing, and has shaped me to be more loving of those near me. They played a big role in my life, but I really thank God most of all. I’m glad that God introduced them in my life. And I’m glad it’s them and not anyone else.
As His child, it seems I really don’t lack anything at all. Everything I need is right here. Even when I’m in my room all day every day, he still provides people who inspire me and teach me great things about Him through them. His glory still enters my life even if I don’t go outside all the time. I guess I need to work harder for my fanfics now… I also want to share His glory without leaving my room lol