Just recently, I discovered that my friend Jessica, whom I’ve known since she was 9, has a boyfriend now. Recently was Valentine’s Day and she posted a photo with some guy from youth group. Usually I wouldn’t care whatever she posted, but I couldn’t help but stop and look at what was going on. There was a cheesy comment from the guy and so I checked the guy’s profile. Yes, I stalked for a bit and that’s when I found out that she had a boyfriend. It was way too obvious (even if his instagram was locked) because the guy’s instagram profile picture was the both of them. I even had a moment of silence when I thought of their relationship, but then I brushed it off. I kind of didn’t believe it at first because it still felt weird to me that this was really happening (even though I would often see them together). I’ve known her for so long and nobody else close to me has started any relationships yet that it was a shock for me to take in. The fact that she’s younger than me makes me feel a little weird too. Even though it seems completely normal since she’s already 16 and we’re pretty much at that age when these things start happening, I still feel kinda weird about it. I guess I’m just not yet used to hearing about relationships from my friends…

But anyway, I just confirmed it this Wednesday band practice. It’s also weird how I always know something beforehand and end up asking about it not to know the answer but just to confirm it.

That’s always the situation I end up with. I don’t ask about something because I’m clueless. I ask because I already know and just want to confirm things.

To be honest, one of the reasons why it kind of took me aback was because I was a witness of the romantic beach dance back in 2015. I really thought she and Caesius would hit it off someday. Basically that ship is nothing now. There’s a new couple in town. The keyboardist in the Youth Serivice I joined for the St. Andrews church, and Jessica, the friend I’ve known for a long time. They seem to really love each other anyway and are not obnoxious about it so I honestly do not care and would not bother them about it. They don’t seem to be foolishly diving into it and Jessica’s parents are very okay with it unlike that crappy love story with John and Prasanna’s sister…

Oh, and apparently there’s a funny story about the two that kind of had to do with me. Since there was a game back a few weeks in Wildfire when we all had to hold each other’s hands, she told me that I apparently cocked block them at that game. She and her boyfriend were holding hands when it was just starting, but then I jumped between them when I joined the game (after putting my bass down from rehearsals). When I remember how I did that, they must be really shocked because I literally sliced through between them and took their hands without much thought. Man, no wonder how flustered the guy was when I did that. She told me that they both looked at each other wondering if I knew that they were dating, but at that I really had no idea. Ahhhh it’s hilarious knowing I cock blocked them without meaning to XD I said sorry sarcastically but she took it as if I really felt bad and kept saying it was okay. I guess she didn’t get my sarcasm. I really felt no guilt cock blocking them. In fact, I’m kinda proud of myself. It’s so funny and it’s definitely going on my list of writing material.

By the way, it’s not only them that I discovered dating recently. Apparently there are a few more of them in relationships in that youth group. I swear it’s so weird to hear when they’re just your age you’ve known them for a while. Maybe it’s because it’s not yet happening to me. No one has ever flirted with me (not that I ever notice at least because I sometimes blend in/am somewhat comfortable with the boys lol) and no guy has ever taken interest on me beyond my music/drawing talents. I’m not jealous or anything to find all these relationships out, though–just taken aback that I’m really at that age now. It’s not just about one-sided crushes with these people. They actually go for it and get together. Anyway, as I said sometime ago, I don’t ever want to have a boyfriend anytime soon since I haven’t even experienced what it’s like to be really really close to a friend. If it’s already almost a burden to keep up and stay close to my friends, the thought of a boyfriend at this age sounds absolutely problematic…


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