Back to One

It’s 2017. What a strange feeling it is to see 12 on the calendar and suddenly have it jump back to 1 again. What’s even stranger is that I feel like it was just yesterday that I was wondering what 2016 would have in store and here we are, done and over it. I somehow kind of feel like only a month has passed since the beginning of 2016. It is truly overwhelming to know that in a blink of an eye, time would pass so quickly. 2016 being less eventful than the years before is partly to blame for that feeling, and I guess the fact that I replayed the same songs throughout 2016 added to it, too.

I mean can you believe it? I download at least 1300 songs every year for two consecutive years, but somehow I only managed to download exactly 600 songs in 2016. I guess I’ve been pickier about my music in 2016 and downloaded only those that really hooked me… that’s why I went through I crisis picking out my favorites for the Year End Top Music because I loved most of the songs and most of them too many times in one day.

There are many times when I did stop and focused on what was before me wishing I would stay longer for that moment, but somehow that made things pass by even quicker. And as I look back, there are many great little moments in which I did not expand on in any letter, and that also probably added to this strange fast forward feeling. I just feel like maybe 2016 should stay for a little while longer. It’s like I was just getting to know 2016, but now it has left me. Besides, I don’t think I’ve nailed writing “2016” on the tests’ date slots yet.

I’ve heard many people had a bad year, but 2016 was such a nice year for me. It sure had its fair share of ups and downs, but I have been happy and content than I have ever been on any year. God has showed me how loving he is in 2016 and has spoiled me so much it’s just so unbelievable. 2016 was like a dream or a late night story that my mind imagined…

The trailer that aired on December 31, 2015 greatly summed up my 2016. Because as we have learned, our story has already been written out by God and he always gives us a hint on how our year will go through how we celebrate its New Year’s Eve.

2014

How we celebrated: My sister and I stayed up playing The New Year by Parachute and The Blues by Switchfoot. We hated celebrating that New Year Evening.

How 2014 turned out: Kpop and basically the whole world turned chaotic, and so did our emotions. We were depressed the whole year except during summer.

2015

How we celebrated: We watched Kpop MVs with our parents (which by the way they said were illuminati like a few days later). And then my sister and I stayed up and watched two SNSD concerts, one being Tokyo Dome (a very legendary yet emotional concert w/o Jessica).

How 2015 turned out: It was a great year, filled with its ups and downs. We have been showered with so much lessons. I have come to realize the preciousness of many things, too. Also, I was very Jessica deprived…

2016

How I celebrated: I streamed a year end music show and had a frustrating time trying to make my parents watch with me. In the end I watched by myself and I felt quite lonely. Aside from that, I died fangirling at SNSD’s really hot performance of Genie. Then I listened to loud EDM mixes in soundcloud waiting for 12 to strike. I thought I wouldn’t be able to see fireworks, but then I did and I felt like a child seeing fireworks for the first time. I was so overjoyed.

How 2016 turned out:

I’ve been very cautious and picky of what I show to them because I have learned what grinds their gears and what they enjoy. I just cannot waste my time showing them something that they won’t be entertained by as much as it entertains me… Somehow, what’s good is that instead of being frustrated with my parents because of this, I actually got to know and understand them more.

As for the fangirling… I have definitely reached a high level of admiration for SNSD’s beauty to the point that I’d so wrongly have scandalous thoughts about them. It’s got really bad this year… I have to work controlling myself in 2017.

Half of the year I felt quite lonely, but when August started, that’s when the fireworks arrived. So many things happened that brought me so much joy.

Also, EDM took over my music…

2017

How I celebrated:

During the day, we went to the mall to buy groceries, but before that, I convinced my mom to buy me a hoodie and she did. So I got a new hoodie… Then I made a peach float (lol peaches).

image

Then I made my parents watch the year end Gayo DaeJun with my parents (again) and it was nice. No illuminati like crap came up and neither did they comment how they annoyingly did back then. Then we watched 2 Days One Night and Running Man.

When they slept, I stressed over in my room what I was going to post on my instagram. I originally planned to post a lego photo but it didn’t seem good enough for me so I recreated it and I worked hard on getting the right angles and faces of every minifigure. For about 1 and a half hours I stressed over how I was going to take it. Finally, just a few minutes before New Year, I was able to take a photo on 12:00 PM on my slightly advanced clock. I was so satisfied to have taken it since I worked so hard on getting it right. It was such a rewarding feeling especially when the fireworks started after that. But what’s strange is that when I was watching the fireworks, I felt a little emotional and lonely. Sure, it was very magical and joyful to see even just a small part of the fireworks, but towards the end, I somehow felt sad.

I really do not know the reason why my heart felt melancholy at that moment, but all I know is that I’m a little scared that I felt that of all things. New Year’s Eve has been predicting my years for 3 consecutive years now. I’m pretty sure the suffering I went through taking that photo means I will be so stressed with my own interests/activities yet it will be very rewarding. But to feel a little emotional or lonely towards the end of the fireworks? I know I shouldn’t lean on these thoughts too much that it would actually ruin my year, but if it will really happen in some way, at least I’m expecting it.That’s why I’m a little nervous on how the year will go, but I shouldn’t be. I should never forget that God the Genius Writer has another series of stories already well written out. What am I so afraid of? Bring it on 2017. I will try to cherish you as much as I did 2015 and 2016, too.

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