Lost Hate

So, I’ve just scrolled down and read a few of my early blogs here. Man am I brilliant in using gifs! XD

But anyway, I can see that a lot of things can quickly change by keeping record of things that happen. It’s also very interesting when I thought about one particular subject a year ago and have slightly changed views on it now. I figured I should catch up with myself today even though nothing is happening much these days. Thoughts scatter quickly so it’s best to keep record of them before they get replaced with something else.

Back then I wrote a few judgmental blogs about how Red Velvet wasn’t my type of group, but oh well, a year later which is right now, I’ve downloaded their first mini album. Ice Cream Cake used to be so detestable for me back then but not anymore. I guess I came to like them since among all the new girl groups these days, they seem very unique. Most girl groups these days are either curvey sexy or aegyo apink wannabes, but Red Velvet are both with a dark, electronic vibe to them and it is very SM of them. The Red and Velvet concepts intrigues me a lot… but really, I’m a Red Velvet fan now all because Dumb Dumb took a hold on me and also because Seulgi’s visual is like a perfect baby of SeoTae XD.

This was my bias ranking of SNSD back in July 2015 and I’m a little surprised because this is not how I would rank them today.

  1. TaeYeon
  2. SeoSic (I can’t chose between them, they’re both adorbs and weird)
  3. SooYoung
  4. YoonYul (let them share places just because)
  5. HyoYeon
  6. Sunny
  7. Tiffany

Since I have finally accepted the fact that Jessica is no longer an SNSD member, I’m not including her on this one. Jessica is now an artist of her own and I respect that. Of course, TaeYeon still sits at the top, but the rest are in different places.

  1. TaeYeon
  2. Tiffany
  3. Yuri
  4. SooYoung
  5. SeoHyun
  6. HyoYeon
  7. Yoona
  8. Sunny

I don’t even know if this is the bias list I will go with by the end of the year since I think this is based on their schedules. I fall in love with whoever shows up in my timeline the most. BTW, don’t misunderstand my love for those at the bottom of the list. They are still SNSD members, so they are still above everyone else that I like in the world of K-pop, and my mom was right about me. I really wouldn’t chose to watch anything without any SNSD members.

But isn’t it funny how Tiffany was my least favorite back then but now she’s on #2? I still remember why I put her on the last place last year. It’s probably because I related to her the least. She was way too girly and some of her styles just didn’t fit my aesthetic. Her super Cali and American spirit sometimes bothered me a little, too. And I have to admit, I was very emo last year about Jessica not being an SNSD member anymore even though many times I said I’ve accepted it (and also very emo about TaengSic). TaengSic’s rival OTP was TaeNy so naturally, I drew more attention to Jessica back then more than Tiffany.

But you know what, she got hot in 2016. It’s not that she wasn’t hot back in 2015 too; it’s just that I paid more attention to the other members during the Party/Lionheart era. This year, she had her solo debut. I didn’t expect her to do a solo debut with dancing and kind of doubted it would even work well before it started. However, when it was released, I really loved her album. As the member that has a record of breaking her voice a lot, I was also impressed by her vocals now and was so proud that she has improved so much from the Tiffany that I knew. Man was I slapped in the face seeing how well she fared on her own.

And also, she got on Unnies’ Slam Dunk which definitely showed a side that was pretty attractive to me. Humble. Caring. Hardworking. Determined. Perfectionist. Seeing her outside of Girls’ Generation with these traits definitely caught my eye. I mean I pretty much knew these facts about her because the members and many other witnesses always said it, but through Unnie’s Slam Dunk, I was able to clearly see it with my eyes. It was an everyday thing for her and it’s only catching my eye now. It’s very touching knowing that I made the right move in my early sone days choosing her as one of my role models even if she wasn’t my bias.

Also I think this new love for her have something to do with me always editing my fanfic. Since my main character Jinwon (based on TaeYeon) is supposed to be in love with her, of course I have to have his mindset to. But instead of being a usual writer-actor who just pretends to be in character, I actually became the character and started falling for her!

Every time I see her, my heart flutters. When she smiles, I instantly become happy. “Seeing her was like watching the golden sun set behind the city buildings as he stands alone, freely on the hospital rooftop. Something about her felt like a fresh breeze of comfort. Something about her repels his scornful soul.”  When I see her laugh, I draw my head back and blush since she’s too adorable. Haha, it’s ridiculous, I know. At least I can describe her a little better now. Literally the only one I could describe well back then with appearance or the complexity of character was just TaeYeon and Jessica. But Tiffany is very important in my fanfics and I’m glad I’m getting to know her even better.

But right now, she is under fire for posting a Japanese flag apparently offensive to Koreans, especially on their Liberation Day. It was understandable why she would use the Japanese flag for she was in Japan because of an SMTOWN concert. It is usually her habit to use the country’s flag for the service of her fans on the country she is currently in. It is her joy to add these in her snapchat stories to notify us which country she’s in, but quite often, she gets the flags wrong. Her fans notify her of her mistake and she ALWAYS apologizes for them. From this, you can see that she is a bit uneducated with the world’s flags, but you cannot deny the fact that she tries to please her fans and corrects her wrongs whenever she can. I mean no one can really get angry at her for confusing flags since those on the same areas in Europe sometimes have way too similar flags. It’s also the same here in the Middle East—they all have very similar stripes and colors of red, black, white, and green. Flags are confusing unless you take time lay them out and study them. She’s a busy woman and might not have time for that. It’s understandable.

She also used a Tokyo geofilter in snapchat with the Rising Sun symbolism which apparently reminds Koreans of all the oppression and stuff. People are saying she cannot miss the meaning behind it after being in Korea for about ten years, but here’s the thing. She was born and raised in America for 15 years! She’s a foreigner, a TCK. I, for example, have no idea the full details of the history of the country that I am currently in, and I kind of grew up here. But heck, I don’t even fully know every detail of my own country’s histories. So you cannot judge her to be a know-it-all at everything. It’s also easy to get disoriented with time or place when you’re having fun or have way too much activities going on. Besides, her fans quickly notified her about her mistake and she took them down immediately. Whether or not she was aware of the history, the point is she recognized her mistake—that it was offensive at the moment for the main country that she represents–and apologized for it.

But sigh… For big-name celebrities, what goes on the internet stays on the internet. A lurker has waited 84 years for this moment just to sink her perfect sail. You see, Tiffany did make quite a mistake, but it is very forgivable up until someone twisted or falsely magnified everything and spread it everywhere to make it look like she murdered and raped all Koreans in the war ages ago.

It just baffles me how everyone is immaturely acting. International K-pop fans are immaturely taking this opportunity to diss her even if they do not fully understand what is happening. Not all but a lot of Korean netizens (and I guess international k-pop fans too) are hiding behind the “patriotic” title to diss on her. Many tell her she doesn’t deserve to be in SNSD anymore and that she has to be kicked out. People even go so low as to mock her dead mother—like seriously why does it have to go that far? Even the news joined the bandwagon of slandering her name, calling her a Japanese imperialist or traitor all because of a filter she carelessly used. Yes, she made a mistake, and she immediately acknowledged and apologized for it, so why is she getting dragged so much in the mud like this? Yes, there is a reason to get angry at her, but this outrage towards her is too much.

It’s not like she raped and abused people or was drunk driving unlike some men who did so in the same industry. What happened to them and why are they not under fire anymore for those things? They victimized actual people unlike her who just offended feelings. And there was also another guy in the same situation as she is in, but he is quickly forgiven? What is this sexism? I also heard their president currently made a mistake on something, but apparently idols are forbidden to make mistakes in life. Just how severe is her sin that suddenly everyone threw their stones at her? She already apologized, what more do they want?

Yes, what more do they want? Dethronement. Really, before any of this, there isn’t anything about her that could drag her down in the industry. And also, as a part of the unbeatable number one girl group, Girls’ Generation, people will just pound their hammers at any crack they could spot to demolish their rule. But what can you do, though? Even before they debut they were already under a lot of fire. People believed they’d flop really quickly, but look at them now; they are one of the longest-lasting girl groups of the K-pop industry. They literally opened up a girls’ generation for the industry where men ruled everywhere. Many girl-groups today wouldn’t be here without them—the girl group who went through so much, who actually worked hard to climb their way up, and stayed fresh and improved in everything they did. They showed and encouraged the different possibilities a girl can do and be. It’s obvious no girl group can beat them. The only thing media can do is assume who will replace SNSD, but no one can overthrow them but themselves. So when they find a problem such as this, they magnify it and try to destroy SNSD from within. But why do that when they literally offered so much to promote Korea?

Though it seems like this situation won’t end, it will, just like any other problem they have gone through, and SNSD will stay as is, strong together. Though I cannot exactly take any action to help clear her name from all the media falsely twisting the situation than how it should truly be, I could only sit down and pray she finds a bit of peace in God in this ridiculous situation. Maybe this is an opportunity for her to take a rest and meditate for a while.

Because really, when I was a new fan, I saw the comics of “An Earthly Angel in Disguise” where it is a true fan account of a time when Tiffany was young, and that she had the heart of a Good Samaritan, going about her way to care for a random stranger she just encountered passed out on the streets. Her name probably wasn’t anything special on the spotlight when it happened for she hasn’t debuted at that time yet. She was only a random girl at that time, probably just two years or so older than my age right now, yet she has played the role that was an example to follow straight up told by Jesus Christ himself. I still think about it every time I encounter a beggar here in the place I am in. What am I supposed to do to show Christ’s love? It isn’t easy at all and I truly applaud Tiffany for this. It truly wasn’t coincidence for the incident to be witnessed by an artist who was able to tell the story! All this happened for God’s glory, and I pray the current situation will give glory to Him too.

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