Okay, it’s time to write this down. If I don’t write this down now, I might not be able to sleep this off. Time to set myself free.
Recently, my mother has been in a frenzy hearing my sister and I talk about “Lucifer” by SHINee. She told us and asked us many times what that was and we said it was a song. A couple of times she told us to be cautious of what the song consists and we were like yeah, yeah, of course. We replied to her multiple times that song was okay and it was harmless to our spirit but obviously, she probably didn’t buy that. Now before, I get further on to this, I get where she’s coming from. I understand why. Lucifer is a pretty scandalous name to talk about among Christians, but seriously why does she need to keep repeating herself that it’s a bad song when we keep repeating that it’s a harmless song? Let me break down the lyrics.
Even if I try to avoid you
I can’t find a place to hide
I can’t even deny you
I’m trapped by you
If it was love
If you really loved me
Don’t do this to me
Her whisper is the Lucifer
If you tie me down and trap me
Then the love is also tied down
The future is also tied down
It can’t grow anymore
Freely empty yourself and look at me
I’ll fill you only, I’ll completely fill you only
Your undeniable spell is the Lucifer
Your undeniable magic is the Lucifer
When I approach you, with your angelic face
You say that the reason you live is for me, you say
When I first saw you
I stopped for a short time
As if someone was tightly seizing my heart
Not letting it go
You took all
Of my heart just like that
You make my heart
Burn out when you’re not here
Loverhollic, Robotronic, Loverhollic, Robotronic
The love stories I shared with you
You look towards the same places I do
When we feel that we can’t get any more perfect
Only stare at me, you want me
More, more, more, more, more, more
Only look at me, you’re the center of
Something has been wrong, you’ve been weird
The people I knew left my side, one by one
All I have is you
I feel like I’ve become
A clown trapped in a glass castle
I dance for you
Who will never be satisfied
You look into me openly
Touching my brain
I think I’ve become a fool
I think I’m only getting
More and more attracted to you
It’s not that I hate you or that I dislike you
It’s just that kind of stare is a burden is all
I’m not going anywhere
I’ve waited like this by only looking at you
Your stare captures me
As the days went by, it became sharper
I’m tired of your obsession
I’ve been cut a lot, my heart is bleeding
When it’s about time for me to pass out
She comes to me like an angel, saying “I love you”
Even though I knew it was really you
You really confused me
SOoo… what’s wrong? It’s just about a guy trapped in some crazy woman’s love. That’s why it’s harmless to us. It’s nothing about drinking, sex, disobeying the rules, praising satan, or some crap like that. We know more than putting those kinds of songs. It’s nothing to make a fuss about compared to the thousands of others out there.
Besides, I don’t even listen to that song these days so what is going on?
The only thing that I am really frustrated about is that my mother kept asking and asking and kept banning this song to us as if this song has poisoned our minds. It didn’t. This song doesn’t even come close to my favorite songs so it’s totally not harming my thinking (up until this point that I’m feeling rebellious just because).
I am gravely ashamed and offeneded that my mother doesn’t trust me and my sister enough when it comes to this. We know what we put in our iPods especially since I strive for quality and I take extra precautions. We’ve been through this lesson before.
Did you know what I did a few nights ago? I was excited to download John Legend songs since I assumed his beautiful voice would go along with great sad songs, but when I actually downloaded his album, I deleted most of it immediately because I didn’t like the words I was hearing.
Even with Red Velvet’s latest album. Some songs do sound nice, but the lyrics are kind of bothering me. I had the thought of downloading them when it released, but after listening to them in tumblr, it was a no no. Red Velvet really is the Red Force (the one that eventually corrupted a bunch of other bands’ concepts in SMTOWN theory lol).
It’s also the same with dubstep. Dubstep is a very unique kind of music and it is a form of art I have come to appreciate. I want to appreciate it. I want to like it. But I build my defenses strong on this kind of genre. There are a lot of awesome dubstep beats out there that I’ve heard of, but they’ve added in horrible lyrics and phrases to it. It’s hard not to like the ones with the sickest beats but I had to refrain from having them because of their lyrics so I tried to find a remedy and found orchestral dubstep—no lyrics, no bad content.
Anyway, this is not the first time she has banned us on things. She banned me of watching Revenge (American TV series) when I was 11 years old (which I totally disobeyed BTW lol sorry) and that was totally understandable because of its vengeful and adult content. I was 11. I didn’t know anything. I was only watching that for the actor. I know now that I was a fool back then. I was a kid. I didn’t know any better. Besides, that TV show turned into crap eventually so it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve moved myself away from that.
But this? Lucifer? Don’t even get me started again on my point. If Lucifer by SHINee is unacceptable, then why did she make me listen to Any Time Any Place and That’s The Way Love Goes by Janet Jackson at such a young age? I bet she didn’t even know what she’s listening to and if she did, why did she make me listen to it? Because it sound good? Tch.
I am actually very cautious about what I’m thinking right now. Am I thinking the right things? Is Satan whispering things to me that I am now enraged or is it just because my mother doesn’t trust me enough? Who’s in the right and who’s in the wrong? Am I the one clouded by my pride or is she just ignorant?
Sometimes I just wish she’d do her research before actually preaching to us as if she knew everything, because there’s definitely one thing I’ve learned as a teenager, parents are not always right even if they hold their heads higher than us. But since God put them on the higher ground, sometimes I have no choice but to keep my mouth shut and hope they’ll learn about their mistakes someday.
So tell me God, who’s right and who’s wrong? I know I am wrong for harboring wrong thoughts againts her because of this situation, but is Lucifer by SHINee something to be avoided that badly?
Because let’s face it, songs mean nothing unless their messages are put into action. It goes the same with singing praise in church. It’s useless unless you really take in the lyrics—and what are the usual youth songs these days? That’s right, repetitive lyrics that don’t elaborate the greatness of God at all. Most of those “Christian praise songs” are low quality which sometimes make me and my sister think if they’re just selling those songs so people can sing along easily and not exactly to lead them to the truth and beauty of God. But that totally depends on the listener if the lyrics will hit or not, right?
My spirit is not as weak as she perceives it to be but I have to admit, my spirit is also not a strong as I perceive it to be. But I know the concept of “you are what you eat.” I know I’ve been poisoned a lot without knowing, but I am trying to be cautious now that I know better… especially when it comes to music. Music is a big deal to me and I don’t want it to be a source of poison.
Anyway, now that I’ve calmed down, time to talk about K-Pop.
Red Velvet just came out and I have to say, they are gaining my attention. However, there is something wickedly dark about them that I just can’t place. I guess they really are “Red” and “Velvet.” They may seem sweet and all that, but nooooo…
And they’ve added a new member that is just my age? Wow, someone has been doing something with their life at such a young age. Meanwhile I’m here…
Truthfully I’m not into them. Ice Cream and Automatic MV creep the crap out of me.What the hell were those music videos about? And what the hell was the lalalala part in Ice Cream that freakin’ repeated creepily a couple of times? I played with its pitch just yesterday and it was horrifying! What a nightmare to listen to in the dark! Still hilarious, nevertheless! Hahaha
So I’ve been in a bit of pressure with my Math and English subjects. I don’t know if I can finish them by the end of March, but I want to. I am in a panic but I know I shouldn’t… I can do it… I can… I c…